locals only

instagrandrna:

" leave food in microwave for 5 mins to cool before eating "

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Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’
Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via katamarang)

mspbandj:

hankgreensmoustache:

champagne-paradise:

kaworushin:

wouldnt it be fucking scary if you had a clock that counted down until the moment you die. like what if it could be altered too like one day it says 70 years left but then you do something and it says 10 minutes left and youre like what the fuck i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up

omg

what if you got on a plane and then as soon as it took off everybodys clock changed to 20 minutes

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typette:

zeedikay:

drcabl3:

jessicreep:

kittydoom:

A Multi-Function Clip That Hides a Toolbox In Your Hair

Um yes!

I still want to bulk buy these and adonize  batch pink.

And it would still get stuck in my hair…

now THIS is what I’m fucking talking about
EDIT: IT FUNCTIONS AS A FUCKING ORANGE PEELER, AND EVEN A LAMP IF YOU HAVE A STRING AND SOME OIL. SERIOUSLY???

JUST IN CASE YOU APPARENTLY NEED AN EMERGENCY ONE FOR RELIGIOUS SERVICES?

typette:

zeedikay:

drcabl3:

jessicreep:

kittydoom:

A Multi-Function Clip That Hides a Toolbox In Your Hair

Um yes!

I still want to bulk buy these and adonize  batch pink.

And it would still get stuck in my hair…

now THIS is what I’m fucking talking about

EDIT: IT FUNCTIONS AS A FUCKING ORANGE PEELER, AND EVEN A LAMP IF YOU HAVE A STRING AND SOME OIL. SERIOUSLY???

JUST IN CASE YOU APPARENTLY NEED AN EMERGENCY ONE FOR RELIGIOUS SERVICES?